“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to put everything they’ve got into canned food and shotguns.” This nugget of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, articulate, glasses-wearing member of the oozy monster mob that infests Manhattan’s high-tech Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s simply an investment tip from one monster to another. Yet, in a strange manner, it’s also pretty solid life guidance. Honestly, consider my perspective.
When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. In fact, a large portion of the dentally-gifted beasts that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (possibly his finest) possess the same knowing, self-referential funny bone regarding the blurry line separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and the older I get, it’s the message that strikes the deepest chord.
Understandably, my connection with this movie wasn’t born on such an introspective level. In my youth, we possessed merely a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case probably bought from an non-chain rental store and sporting growling monsters on its tattered front. I was immediately enamoured and these films quickly proceeded lodging themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. After that point, they became an practically routine part of my childhood viewing routine.
Dante’s first film typically gets all the accolades, thanks largely to its status as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. That said, its successor rarely gets the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d retreat into the house and stick it on. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. Gradually, it etched itself permanently in my psyche. If my parents observed this fixation, they didn’t seem to mind.
As I got older, new insights enriched frequent screenings, heightening the enjoyment of watching diminutive verdant beasts gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his one-time partner Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp possesses greater compassion than his real-life counterpart.
The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was based on a real-life “Doomsday” video commissioned by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film varying versions of a self-referential segment where Gremlins hijack the very film you’re watching. An edit for movie houses, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each delivering a smirking slice of fourth-wall-breaking cultural alchemy prior to the concept being mainstream.
While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that caught my eye as a child, this deeper gold held my interest as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no reservations informing me he made the movie with the express purpose of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This Looney Tunes-esque rebelliousness and commitment to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only deepened my appreciation further.
When I experienced a abrupt familial death earlier this year, I was astonished to realize that, during my heightest mourning, all I desired to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Perhaps not. The comforting familiarity it offered was necessary to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the insights it had given me as an adult were equally valuable.
Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just cannot manage. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: welcome the pandemonium, commit your entire being into canned food and shotguns and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.
It’s powerful existential guidance from a most improbable origin – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my feelgood film.
A seasoned journalist with a passion for uncovering stories that matter in the Czech Republic and beyond.
