Keegan, a Restroom and Why England Supporters Should Cherish The Current Period

Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Restroom comedy has long been the safe haven of your Daily, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and milestones, particularly within football. What a delight it was to find out that a prominent writer Adrian Chiles owns a West Bromwich Albion-inspired toilet within his residence. Spare a thought about the Tykes follower who took the rest room a little too literally, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell following dozing off in the toilet at half-time during a 2015 defeat versus the Cod Army. “His footwear was missing and misplaced his cellphone and his hat,” elaborated a representative from Barnsley fire services. And who can forget during his peak popularity at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to use the facilities in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting the location of the toilets, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” a pupil informed local Manchester media. “Later he simply strolled round the campus like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century since Kevin Keegan stepped down as England manager post a quick discussion in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss by Germany in 2000 – the Three Lions' last game at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his private Football Association notes, he had entered the sodden beleaguered England dressing room right after the game, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams “fired up”, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. After Dietmar Hamann's set-piece, Keegan moved wearily along the passageway with a thousand-yard stare, and Davies located him seated – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – within the changing area's edge, whispering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“What place could we identify for confidential discussion?” recalled Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Only one option presented itself. The restroom stalls. A dramatic moment in England’s long football history happened in the old toilets of a venue scheduled for destruction. The impending destruction could almost be smelled in the air. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘You cannot persuade me,’ Kevin stated. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I’m going out to the press to tell them I’m not up to it. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, later admitting that he had found his tenure as national coach “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's an extremely challenging position.” English football has come a long way in the quarter of a century since. Whether for good or bad, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are no longer present, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: National team followers, value this time. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Real-Time Coverage

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for women's football cup news regarding Arsenal versus Lyon.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, in just our underwear. We were the continent's finest referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We barely looked at each other, our looks wavered slightly nervously while we were called forward two by two. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson discloses the embarrassing processes officials were once put through by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Has Blackpool experienced Excessive Steves? Steve Bruce, together with staff Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not completely! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie continue to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles.

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and make a pithy comment. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he expected would overpower him. This pain-seeking behavior must justify his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As a lifelong Spurs supporter I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware however the sole second-year prize I envision him securing along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|